How I got into birth

It started out with the birth of my first-born. Like most Singaporeans, I got the best obstetrician on the street and left him to do whatever was necessary. I was rather unconscious.

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My husband sat in an arm chair 2 meters away as I laboured, oblivious to my needs. I felt alone. A nurse picked up that I was in need of comfort and soon an anaesthetist came in. I thought medical staff knew better about what I needed. The commonly used epidural would lengthen with labour. I did not know this. A form was put in front of me and I signed it, giving power of decision over to staff - out of fear.

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As I was fully dilated, I was asked to push. A student doctor came in with my doctor, an episiotomy was given without reason and my son was vacuumed. He was born angry! Babies do not like being pulled out. I'm glad my pelvic floor was not overly damaged.

 

He was wiped while crying frantically and put on my chest. I was underwhelmed by the whole thing - but managed a smile at my seemingly healthy baby. The doctor said to me 'You could have pushed him out.' as I looked at him holding my baby trying to let everything sink in. An after thought of 'then why didn't you let me do it?' lingered. Why did I give my power away?

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When I was pregnant again, I decided I wanted a connected, natural birth. I was called crazy. I did a hypnobirthing course but thought it was too expensive to hire a doula. (a mistake.) The hypnobirthing course did help - my husband no longer sat on an armchair far away. This time, he was more attentive to my needs based on a sheet of paper I had prepared for him. He had a great experience being involved and I loved having him provide comfort. We still have some funny stories about the birth.

 

I laboured the way I wanted to - in the tub, with the tens, active, totally part of a natural process. More importantly I felt amazingly transformed after the birth. Your birth story stays on your skin. My baby girl was born, calm. No crying. I was there holding her, feeling absolutely superhuman.... and bonding so quickly. No depression to overcome. No shock to process.

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I knew so many women were deprived of this gift.

With different modalities of work and study I have done in this process, the mothers I have supported are having shorter, beautiful and empowering births.

 

I have seen improvements

The rate of c-sections amongst my clients is 3% in the last 3 years since making hypnobirthing education a requirement for my clients.

Ever since incorporating all my other hypnosis skills, births with well positioned babies had been 8 hours or less and ending up with ecstatic mums and dads in awe of their wives. (Especially VBAC mums.) 

Births with less optimally positioned babies tend to be longer and require repositioning in labour - requiring several days. A fully natural birth in such a state usually requires a firm husband to support her though. (not easy and would require doula support.) For some an epidural and a positioning work may help (once again, doula support vital.